Dark

Well it seems like my blog has been really dark and probably a bit dusty.

But I must say I've had fun with all my friends and I hope everyone will have a great 2009!

And I need (fine, want) photos!!!

Stupid key

I recall part of a conversation at lunch.

Him: 你现在连我也不能trust?
Me: 是under我的名mah。

So I thought, if I can't even trust myself, how can I trust anyone else?

One fine day,

I will post this:

Today was a superduperhappyday. Awesome!

I'm going to sleep with a silly smile on my face. My muscles are just spasm-ing on their own. Hahaha.

Awww, right?

Adrian Mole

Friday, November 28, 2009

Oh, I don't know why, diary, but I just hate myself.

Xperia X1

In a review of the phone, Daniel Hessel and Mattias Kallman remind us about Windows Mobile in the Sony Ericsson Xperia X1.

The Windows mobile base in the Sony Ericsson Xperia X1 has, like all Windows Mobile-based touchscreen phones, been supplemented with a homegrown graphical interface called the X-Panel, since the system itself is the textbook definition of the word clutter.

Source: Sony Ericsson Xperia X1 review (2008-10-07), PC Advisor, accessed 2008-11-23.

Haha. Exactly what I was thinking from watching it. But there aren't many other pressing issues I can think of for now.

Meanwhile, I'm eyeing this phone.

EDIT on 20081123:

Seow Tein Hee concludes his Sony Ericsson Xperia X1 review.

Sad to say, its QWERTY keyboard, which could have been the defining feature on the X1, became the downfall of this Windows Mobile device. The lack of a good tactile feedback, stiff keys and awkward positioning of pertinent keys such as its Start button will make your typing experience confounding and confusing.

Source: Sony Ericsson Xperia X1: The Full Xperience (2008-10-29), Seow Tein Hee, on Hardwarezone, accessed 2008-11-23.

Yet another disappointment. Yay.

"Let's face it. English is a crazy language."

Lederer "calls our attention to the way that many particles with spatial senses like up, down, up, and out are also used in an aspectual sense, to cap off an activity".

Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing? ... You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down and in which you fill in a form by filling it out. English was invented by people, not computers .... That is why when the stars are out they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible and why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts, but when I wind up this poem it ends.

Source: Lederer, 1990. Via The Stuff of Thought: Language as a Window into Human Nature (2007), pp 201, Steven Pinker.

Exactly

In the news article, David Bain raises philosophical arguments about the following four simple questions.

1. Should we kill healthy people for their organs?
2. You are not the person who started reading this article.
3. Is that really a computer screen in front of you?
4. You did not freely and responsibly choose to read this article.

Source: Four philosophical questions to make your brain hurt, by David Bain, on BBC News, accessed 20081120.

Read it all about!*

*a la Mr Topsy-Turvy, by Roger Hargreaves.

Through the wire / Equity

Admirable for his perseverance, Kanye West recorded Through the Wire with his jaw wired shut while recovering from a car accident in 2002.

Both of us applied for NUS Law together.

I had scrambled to reschedule the interview and test, considering that I was to go for live range on the original date. They had not replied despite my incessant (but sufficiently restrained) attempts to contact them. I composed the letter to the faculty on behalf of my superior.

But they replied to him.

Through the grapevine, I just heard that he got the university scholarship as well.

Despite my diplomacy with the grape I was talking to, I couldn't help but feel inadequate, somehow. Inside, I was screaming, how can he deserve it more?*

Honestly, I don't know how I am going to afford it. Even my two years worth of sweat (under the Act) can only tide me through a year.

Kristen tells me not to worry about the money.

I guess, in a forced display of paper maturity, it could have helped him tremendously. And then I don't even know what his situation is like.

It's like I could have caught the shuttle bus and reached home while the sky was still bright, but I stayed to help in something dirty that wasn't my business in the first place. It's for the(ir) greater good.

What a ridiculous world I live in.

*note to self: reconsider the syntax of this sentence.

"I'm just a small-town boy"

Tom tells Ginger that she's "pretty amazing".

"You're so cool, and confident. I've never known anyone like you."

I had to exercise extreme self-control not to burst out laughing. "You think I'm confident?"

"Yeah. Don't you know? It's intimidating. I'm just a small-town boy," he said, only half joking. "You're a big-city girl. Compared to what I'm used to, you're exotic."

Source: The Art of Undressing (p. 208), Stephanie Lehmann.

I recently bumped into an old friend on the way home, and she was really dressed up and all that.

I guess that's why it triggered a recollection of this part of the book. We were so simple in those days, though I've always knew she had it in her.

Good luck.

Boulevard of broken dreams

Regret is not as simple as Gauri's economics. It is how unresolved it is that bugs me, that makes me wonder why I didn't do things differently.

Because I didn't dare to.

And the medal goes right back into the box.

Peeing

So Lin Hui doesn't cry, she pees.

Meeting up today was really good. Not enlighteningly great, but just purely good.

But I think the mouse was more of a tear jerker than Nights in Rodanthe. It's either that I'm crazy or it feels wonderful to be appreciated and to actually do something useful and wanted.

Table for one

I guess all along I never really had any because I was too afraid to let them in.

And then there are times I wonder what's wrong. Was I not socialised the right way? Was it because of him? What did I think during my childhood years, my formative years?

There was also a period in which I thought life didn't really have any meaning. I thought I could grow out of it. I still think so. Naively.

Perhaps that's why reading always seemed like a better choice. It's private and immersive.

It's hard to change, because it is so simply taken for granted.

Did you make a reservation, sir?

PS: Even the first line has been redacted. Ridiculous.
PPS: Confusion of selves.

Funny only in the aha room

The days I spent at that place.

"This is growing up."

Betty has returned from her trip and is brimming with new ideas which eventually went wrong. Ignacio speaks to a dejected Betty.

Growing up isn't about making the right decisions. It's about dealing with the decisions you've made and picking yourself up.

Source: The Manhattan Project (Season 3, Episode 1), Ugly Betty.
Reference: "This is growing up.", Ugly Betty - Live Blog.

In a way, leaving school (and not to mention enlistment) has been a real eye-opener to the real world out there.

Despite the various obstacles I had during my course of study so far, I've never really expected life to be so harsh, so daunting sometimes. There have been times that I've felt totally spent and brain-dead over the weekend as a result of my weekday efforts.

As I took my walk around today, I realised how fast I've grown. Not literally, of course. But all the years that I had spent studying. What have I gained in the process? Or rather, what have I given up? I think, very obviously, I had taken family for granted. Strangely, I feel somewhat distant even with my immediate family. To think, naively, I've always felt that parents should a friend to their children.

My father once told me that people miss their days in school. At that time, I couldn't believe it.

Now, I miss studying. Sort of. But why? Why did I want to study? If you think about it, studying doesn't really equip us with many useful skills for life. And then there're bound to be problems in attitude and aptitude. My walk didn't provide me with any answers to this.

Of course, I've ever felt like giving up. But I was almost always lucky. Motivation would arrive, somehow. Possibly in the form of hardworking friends. Or encouraging teachers.

And now to friends.

I complain to Gauri about the lazy people I have to face.

The lack of appreciation just makes me not want to help them ever again. And yet, after all this, I'm going to miss the people I resent.

It's crazy, right?

SISPEC was a better experience because I had supportive friends around me. I knew I could trust Say Hoe and Wilson Tay. And they know they can trust me as well.

[to be continued]

Perhaps

A SLICE OF LIFE – Faith in Yourself

Looking at the people around you, you probably think that you’re the only one who gets timid and unsure of yourself. But any time you feel your confidence shrivelling, you’re not alone. Everyone feels fear and self-doubt, probably more often than you know but because you’re not them, you don’t feel or see it. You only feel your own fear so keenly because you’re the one experiencing it.

In a world where so little is certain, one of the few things you can have an unshakeable faith in is yourself. It’s the one thing you can count on in unfamiliar social situations, when going for an interview, giving a presentation, meeting a date, asserting your rights, recovering after a setback, or simply for peace of mind. That’s why a healthy sense of self-esteem is so important.

Now the first step to reducing our self-doubt and increasing our self-confidence is to realise that most of our fears are irrational. Many of us still go around behaving as though we were frightened little kids on the first day of school, having to dodge the bully and conform to strict rules or risk being punished.

Perhaps it’s remnants of an oppressed childhood still haunting you, but understand that those days are gone. You’re your own person now, capable of deciding what you want to do and how you want to feel. You don’t have to try to “fit in” anymore, and you don’t need anyone’s approval. You are you, and no one should be able to tell you that that’s wrong or abnormal or not up to the standard.

In order to overcome your fears, identify just what they are, how logical they are, and how you can get rid of them. For example, before an intimidating event or situation, write down exactly what you’re uncomfortable about. Is it a reasonable fear? What consequences are likely to result from it? What’s the worst that can happen? How can you conquer this fear?

You’ll find that as you go along, most of these fears are inconsequential, or at least will not have any devastating, long-term effects. Even something like flunking a job interview doesn’t mean you won’t succeed at others. Most of the time, just being yourself is the way to go. Not having to pretend takes a lot of the pressure off and makes you more relaxed and natural. Just remember, you may think that being yourself is not good enough, but the truth is, people value honesty and sincerity above most other things. Very simply, people will appreciate you just for being you.

Eugene Loh, 938LIVE, MediaCorp Radio Singapore (www.938LIVE.sg)

Source: A Slice of Life, Eugene Loh, accessed 20081005.

Reading

Often, when I want to curl up in bed to cosy up to a book (yes, I'm crazy), I'll grab the nearest and only fiction novel I have: The Art of Undressing.

Even though I've read it quite a few times, it's still cosy enough for me to read it again and again. Perhaps it's titillating enough. :)

Thank you, Sonia!

Ten

10. CPL LAM PAK NIAN

The top 9 in the course are "prize winners". And nope, this isn't Ironic.

Although, I wonder, what the highlight is for.

You say it best, when you say nothing at all

So I was thinking, hmm, now what was I thinking about?

Re-re-discovered this song via Sonia.

As much as you allow

Feel so loved n pampered.. I'm HAPPY! =)

Would I ever allow myself to feel like that? If Happiness Now! (thanks, Cheng Wai) is to be believed,

unfortunately not.

Filial piety

I just watched Money No Enough 2.

I love my family. My parents, my grandmother, my brother.

The show was heartwrenching. It was "irritating"; I had to cry.

I will always remember the love and care I received and will do my utmost to ensure the well-being of my family.